Talking Back: How to give employee feedback in a way so they will listen

Katie Obi, Chief People Officer at OneAdvanced on how to give employee feedback in a way so they will listen.

Feedback is key for development, so why do so many get it wrong?

Giving feedback at work may sound like a straightforward enough concept but the truth is that it can be akin to navigating a minefield. Getting it wrong can lead to great offence, hurt feelings or misinterpretation that can leave everyone wondering what the benefit of that awkward conversation has really been.

Managing a team presents a wealth of challenges, and feedback is one of the most tricky areas to navigate. Whether that’s helping team members who are underperforming to understand what needs to be done differently, or helping a promising employee build on their strengths to become exceptional, feedback is an incredibly important tool – but only when it’s delivered well.

It’s rarely as simple as imparting your opinion on how an employee has done at a particular task. Giving feedback well is a skill. You need to communicate effectively and constructively and leave your recipient in no doubt about the things they can practically tackle to improve.

These are my top tips for giving feedback in such a way that people will really listen.

1. Understand what type of feedback will be most effective

There is growing evidence that helping people build upon their strengths is a more effective way to get top performance out of individuals rather than seeking to highlight and address gaps. Using feedback as an opportunity to reflect on a situation and help improve an employee’s awareness of their own strengths and understand how to play to these can be very effective. There are some situations where focusing on what didn’t work can also be widely appreciated and effective, which is often the case in a highly technical role or a situation where consequences of getting something wrong are high – like an emergency response situation.

Decide upfront what is important and if you do need to provide improvement feedback, be sure to frame it within a wider positive context so the person is most likely to listen to and take this on board. While it is human nature to often look for the gaps and what needs to be changed, too much constructive criticism over time can start to demotivate people. There will be plenty of opportunities to highlight the positive – make sure you don’t skip these over in favour of continual ‘improvements’. Everyone likes to hear that they’re doing something well, so don’t hold back in calling these examples out, too.

2. Prepare

Preparation is key in delivering meaningful feedback. Do not rush into feedback discussions. Spend time ensuring that you are able to articulate exactly what the situation was, what the person did in that situation, what was the outcome or unintended consequence, and what coaching questions you are going to ask to help the person reflect on the situation and decide how to do things differently in the future (or what to do more of in the case of positive feedback).

3. Be specific

It’s of little use to tell a team member they need to be more authoritative, for example. This doesn’t really leave them with any idea of where they’re going wrong or how they can do better. Instead, give instantaneous, context-driven feedback.

Say you’ve just left a client meeting and you felt that your employee should have been more confident. Talk about it straight away and give specific examples: “When you say ‘um’ all the time, it makes you sound unsure. Let’s work on that and come up with some phrases that will help you sound more assured.” In this scenario, you might also need to think about training – why is your employee unsure of what they’re saying? Do they need some external reassurance that what they’re thinking is correct?

Specific feedback gives your employee an action plan to improve.

4. Take notes

It’s important to record the feedback conversations you have with your team, ideally somewhere that both parties can access. This means that you have a clear record of what has been suggested, can monitor themes and progress over time, and can discuss progression, development and more formal performance management as needed in relation to this.

5. Have two-way conversations

Creating an open feedback culture means using feedback as moments to reflect, learn and grow. Ensure conversations allow for opportunities for you to coach the recipient to help them understand what is needed going forward and what they would like to do differently. Seek out and evaluate multiple different and credible sources – what feedback is the person getting from their customers, peers, employees and colleagues. Does this reflect your experience? Is there something in the way the two of you are interacting that means your experience is different from the other feedback coming through?

An open feedback culture also means being reflective and open around your own performance and the experiences of others in working with you. Be prepared to lead by example and be open to hearing (and acting upon) feedback from your team about how you are performing as a manager.

A feedback culture is built through continuous feedback, and not through relying on infrequent, formal feedback sessions like annual reviews or quarterly PDPs, which leave huge gaps between feedback opportunities during which time the employee continues without insight into how their work is really being perceived. It’s far better to create a culture where feedback is given in the moment and delivers clear, actionable advice.

At OneAdvanced, we strive to deliver real-time feedback at all levels and ask all our managers to be specific with what they want to discuss. We also provide the opportunity for all employees to provide feedback to all employees at any time through our Performance & Talent system.

Changing the way feedback is approached in your business can help you get the most out of your team, in turn helping your business to thrive. Make it one of the cornerstones of your company culture, and you’ll reap the rewards.